The Difference Between Advice, Coaching, and Real Partnership

Research & Sources / Mentorship & Sounding Boards

You are lost in a strange city. You can stop and ask a passer-by for directions: quick and useful, but they are gone in a minute. You can take driving lessons, so next time you find the way yourself. Or you can have someone sit next to you for the whole journey, reading the map with you and noticing what you miss. Three kinds of help. Advice, coaching and partnership.

Advice: asking for directions

Advice is someone telling you what they would do. It is fast and often valuable, especially when the other person has more experience with a specific problem.

Ilan Yaniv’s research shows that people tend to give advice too little weight, yet using it makes their judgements more accurate.¹ Advice is underrated. Its limit is that it is based on the advisor’s view of a situation they only partly know, and once given, the advisor moves on.

Coaching: the driving lesson

Coaching helps you get better at finding your own way. A coach asks questions, gives feedback and helps you set and follow goals. The International Coaching Federation describes it as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process.²

Research shows coaching helps. Meta-analyses found positive effects on performance, well-being and goal attainment.³ Its strength is that you grow. Its limit is that a pure coach often holds back their own view, even when it would help.

Partnership: the co-driver

Real partnership combines the two and adds something more: continuity and shared attention over time. A partner stays with you through the whole journey. They know the history of your decisions, remember what you said three months ago, ask questions like a coach, and also say clearly what they see, like an advisor. They don’t drive. But they are in the car.

That kind of continuity matters because decisions are connected. A good partner notices that today’s hiring problem and last month’s sales problem are the same problem.

Which one do you need?

• A clear, one-off question in an area where others have more experience: advice.
• A skill or habit you want to develop: coaching.
• A period of important decisions, change or growth: partnership.

Signs of real partnership

• They know your goals and refer back to them.
• They challenge you, and also support you.
• They are honest about what they do not know.
• They care about your result, not about being right.

What this means for you this week

• List the help you currently get and label each as advice, coaching or partnership.
• Look at your biggest challenge this year. Which kind of help does it need?
• Next time you ask for help, say which kind you want.

Directions help for a moment. A good co-driver helps for the whole journey.

Sources

1. Yaniv, I. (2004). Receiving other people’s advice: Influence and benefit. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 93(1), 1-13. doi.orgPeople give too little weight to advice, yet using advice improves the accuracy of their judgements.
2. International Coaching Federation. About ICF (definition of coaching). coachingfederation.orgCoaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process” to maximise personal and professional potential.
3. Jones, R. J., Woods, S. A. & Guillaume, Y. R. F. (2016). The effectiveness of workplace coaching: A meta-analysis. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 89(2), 249-277. doi.orgWorkplace coaching has positive effects on learning, attitudes and individual results.