Why Entrepreneurs Should Not Process Every Big Decision Alone

Research & Sources / Mentorship & Sounding Boards

You can carry a sofa up three flights of stairs alone. People have done it. It takes forever, you scratch the walls, you strain your back, and at the top you are too exhausted to enjoy the new flat. With one other person holding the other end, it is quick, safe and almost easy. Big decisions are sofas.

The habit of carrying alone

Many entrepreneurs process their biggest decisions in their own heads. Should we take the investor’s money? Should we let the co-founder go? Should we open a second location? They think about it in the car, in the shower, at night. Sometimes for months.

There are understandable reasons. They don’t want to worry the team. They don’t want to burden their partner. They feel they should know the answer. And there is often nobody around who understands the business well enough.

The weight is real

Thomas Saporito, who led the leadership consultancy RHR International, wrote in Harvard Business Review about survey results showing that about half of CEOs experience loneliness in the role, and that most of them feel it hurts their performance.¹ For entrepreneurs without a board or peers, the isolation is often greater.

Michael Freeman and colleagues found that entrepreneurs in their study reported mental-health conditions more often than comparison participants.² Carrying everything alone has a cost.

Two heads really are better

Bahador Bahrami and colleagues found that two people who openly discuss their views and their confidence can reach better joint judgements than the better individual alone.³ The key is real exchange: both share what they see and how sure they are.

Kahneman, Lovallo and Sibony noted that leaders spot biases in others’ thinking far more easily than in their own.⁴ A second person helps you see what your own mind hides.

Sharing the weight, keeping the decision

Talking a decision through with someone does not mean handing it over. You still decide. The other person just holds the other end of the sofa while you climb.

Choose the right person. Someone outside the daily business, with no interest in a particular answer, who will ask honest questions.

Explain the decision out loud. Just putting it into words often makes the real question clearer.

Ask for questions, not answers. “What am I not seeing?” is more useful than “what would you do?”

Set a date. Agree when you will decide, so the conversation leads somewhere.

What this means for you this week

• Write down the biggest decision you are currently carrying alone.
• Name one person who could hold the other end.
• Book an hour to talk it through, with the question “what am I missing?”.
• Set your decision date at the end of that conversation.

You are strong enough to carry it alone. That does not mean you should.

Sources

1. Saporito, T. J. (2012). It’s Time to Acknowledge CEO Loneliness. Harvard Business Review. hbr.orgReports RHR International survey results: about half of CEOs experience loneliness in the role, and most of them say it hinders their performance.
2. Freeman, M. A., Staudenmaier, P. J., Zisser, M. R. & Andresen, L. A. (2019). The prevalence and co-occurrence of psychiatric conditions among entrepreneurs and their families. Small Business Economics, 53(2), 323-342. doi.orgEntrepreneurs in the sample reported mental-health conditions more often than comparison participants.
3. Bahrami, B. et al. (2010). Optimally Interacting Minds. Science, 329(5995), 1081-1085. doi.orgTwo people who talk openly about their confidence can make better joint judgements than the better of the two alone.
4. Kahneman, D., Lovallo, D. & Sibony, O. (2011). Before You Make That Big Decision. Harvard Business Review, June 2011. hbr.orgLeaders spot biases in others’ proposals more easily than in their own; a 12-question checklist for testing big decisions.