How Self-Awareness Improves Leadership Performance

Research & Sources / Personal & Career Development

Some people walk through an office in heavy shoes, and every step echoes down the corridor. Everyone hears them coming. Everyone except them. They have no idea how loud they are. Leadership is full of loud footsteps: a sigh in a meeting, a quick email, a raised eyebrow. Self-awareness is hearing your own footsteps.

Two kinds of self-awareness

Organisational psychologist Tasha Eurich describes two kinds. Internal self-awareness is how clearly you see your own values, strengths, reactions and wishes. External self-awareness is how well you understand how other people see you. Her research suggests that about 95 percent of people think they are self-aware, but only about 10 to 15 percent really are.¹

Leaders need both. Knowing what you want is not enough if you have no idea how you come across while pursuing it.

Self-aware managers perform better

Allan Church compared how managers rated themselves with how their colleagues rated them. In high-performing managers, the two pictures matched much more closely than in average performers.² They saw themselves roughly as others saw them.

That makes sense. A leader who knows they tend to interrupt can catch themselves. A leader who doesn’t know keeps doing it, and the team slowly stops speaking up.

Why it is so hard

The higher you rise, the less honest feedback you get. People are careful with the boss. And all of us see biases in others far more easily than in ourselves, as Emily Pronin and colleagues showed.³ So leaders often have the least accurate picture of themselves exactly when their behaviour affects the most people.

Ways to hear your footsteps

Ask specific questions. “How am I doing?” gets polite answers. “What is one thing I do in meetings that makes it harder for you to speak up?” gets useful ones.

Ask “what”, not “why”. Eurich found that asking “why did I do that?” often leads to excuses and circles, while “what situations bring out my worst?” and “what can I do differently?” lead to clearer insight.¹

Watch the effect, not the intention. You meant to be efficient. Did the other person feel rushed? The effect is what they experience.

Use a mirror. A thinking partner can reflect patterns back to you. Coaching research shows clear effects on goal-directed self-regulation, the ability to observe and steer yourself.⁴

Self-awareness is not self-criticism

Seeing yourself clearly does not mean focusing only on flaws. It also means knowing your strengths, the situations where you do your best work and the value you bring. Self-aware leaders are often calmer, because fewer things about themselves surprise them.

What this means for you this week

• Ask three people one specific question about how you come across.
• Write down two situations that bring out your best and two that bring out your worst.
• In one meeting, watch the effect of your words on others instead of your own intentions.
• Reflect on Friday with “what” questions only.

You can keep the heavy shoes. Just learn to hear your steps.

Sources

1. Eurich, T. (2018). What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). Harvard Business Review. hbr.orgAbout 95 percent of people think they are self-aware, an estimated 10 to 15 percent are; “what” questions help more than “why” questions.
2. Church, A. H. (1997). Managerial self-awareness in high-performing individuals in organizations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 82(2), 281-292. doi.orgHigh-performing managers were more self-aware: their self-ratings matched others’ ratings more closely.
3. Pronin, E., Lin, D. Y. & Ross, L. (2002). The Bias Blind Spot: Perceptions of Bias in Self Versus Others. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 369-381. doi.orgPeople see biases in others far more easily than in themselves.
4. Theeboom, T., Beersma, B. & van Vianen, A. E. M. (2014). Does coaching work? A meta-analysis. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(1), 1-18. doi.orgCoaching improves performance, well-being, coping, work attitudes and goal-directed self-regulation.